My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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