On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
