I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
