i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
