she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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