If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
