when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
