My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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