We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
