You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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