Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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