Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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