Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
