Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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