Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My vagina just recognized that song.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
