Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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