I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
