Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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