Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
