I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Found the puke drawer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize