her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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