my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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