i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
