My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize