Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
