I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
