So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
