lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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