Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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