Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
