Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
