It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
