when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Michael Bay diarrhea
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
