You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
