bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize