just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
