bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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