Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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