when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i will never coherently bang her
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
