i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
