i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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