beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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