was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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