dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
