Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
