Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
