Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
