the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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