so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
