Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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