yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
