it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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