Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
