My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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