nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
