just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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