Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's Friday. Sex?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
