You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
