Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
