happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
