but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
